Some days I stop to both wonder and appreciate. The last few days have been just those types of days. Days where you wonder if you are in the right place doing the right thing? You wonder if you are making a positive difference in the world? Or as Ecclesiasties says ‘life is futile’?
The last few months has been tumultuous with a shift in family with a sudden death of a father-in-law, a child becoming an adult, an adult trying to secure a university place, a child settling into a secondary school, an adult wrestling with where to work, and dear friends suffering illnesses, and realising the fragility and preciousness of it all.
I often question where I am and whether I should be here or there. Or whether my ‘being’ here is as much of a blessing to those people by what I share and how the beauty in the Yorkshire Dales is shaping me and stilling my soul.
My hope is that amidst my own internal confusion and turmoil of ‘where should I be’ that who I am offers some normality to others chaos, a little ‘slice of heaven on a plate’ (the scenery & creativity) for those surrounded by difficult circumstances. So my posts may well be varied, from the mundane to the surprising, the reflective to the manically creative.
I’ve a dear friend starting aggressive treatment for leukaemia. For him I seek to be mindful of the littlest of blessings.
Today while walking Zolly we changed our walk to give a pair of ducks with just one duckling space. Made me wonder – even at the level of a duck life is precarious and precious and I wonder if there had only been the one egg or had there been more. If so, what happened to them? You can understand why we changed our route. The duck family had negotiated a huge range of circumstances and, like my friend, I wanted to increase their chances of health and survival in a very small, but hopefully significant way.